Haha Cancer, Do One!

So after a bloody agonising few weeks wait, I’ve FINALLY being given the all-clear after another sodding cancer scare!!! That’s TWO scares within 7 months; two lots of surgery; two lots of biopsies. I’ve beaten you once cancer, and there is no way you’re EVER going to beat me

💪

So cancer has taught me some valuable lessons………

  1. Live with passion.
  2. Push yourself further than you ever felt possible.
  3. Take chances. Life’s too short.
  4. Make memories. Not mistakes.
  5. Spend as much time at the beach as possible.
  6. Let music heal you.
  7. Never accept mediocre.
  8. Talk openly and honestly.
  9. Love hard and with sincerity. Always.
  10. Take no shit 😉
So with that in mind I have been busy re-writing my bucket list. My medical team are going to love me…….NOT ha!! But you only live once. Well, unless you are me. I appear to be a cat. And a fucking awesome one at that

😜

Now for the soppy bit….
Thank you to the Cocky Glaswegian for always being there for me (even when he’s not!) And my drinking partner in crime who keeps me amused falling asleep on my toilet lol! All my wonderful friends who have rallied around. The stranger at the swimming pool for a much needed hug. The stranger on the top of the mountain for his wise words of wisdom……And my beautiful babies who have shown unbelievable resilience over the years and make me incredibly proud each and every single day xxxxx

BOOM

International Women’s Day…Don’t insult us…

IWD

 

Now, I’m not against celebrating women, our struggles, successes and how far we have come (and still have to go); but I do take issue with this bizarre need to have one single day a year to acknowledge us.  I actually find it quite insulting on so many levels, rather than celebratory.  And don’t get me started on Mother’s Day either…that’s equally as insulting.

I don’t need a single day a year to recognise the women around me who inspire me each and every single day.

There’s the incredibly brave and young fellow cervical cancer survivor who will never be able to carry her own child, and yet still keeps going.

The enormously strong mother who continues to fundraise for sick kids and work on a busy maternity unit despite her own miracle baby sadly growing his wings at just 8 months old.

The determined single woman fighting tirelessly to get the law changed so that her and other single women can legally become parents using their own eggs via a surrogate and a sperm donor (I can’t even believe that this is even an issue in this day and age!)  She also happens to be a fellow cervical cancer survivor.

The courageous mother who grabbed her kids and fled her abusive ex partner, risking her own life.

And finally the resilient fellow warrior who takes a daily kicking from their own special needs child, and yet gets back up each and every time despite their own chronic health issues.

These are the true women who need celebrating and I feel truly honoured to have them in my life, each and every day.  Not once a year.

 

Inspire

 

Amy Griffiths, Well Being Freedom Services Ltd ©

Grateful Reflections…

GoT_Christmas

 

Most people will think I absolutely love Christmas, afterall I am forever dancing around to the cheesy Christmas tunes embarrassing my babies and couldn’t wait to dust off the novelty jumpers & awful sickly festive DVDS!  But in reality, Christmas for me is a very difficult time, as it is for many others.

In 2006 I lost my Poppa on Christmas Day, followed by my wonderful Nanny 30th December a few years later.  These two deaths alone made me dread the Christmas period, but as a Mummy you learn pretty bloody quickly to paint that smile on and chuck yourself into the festivities to ensure your babies have the most magical time.

Then in December 2014 I had my cancer treatment.  As a mother it absolutely broke me being so unwell and not able to give my babies the Christmas they would normally have.  But equally, it was probably one of the most touching and special as we weren’t rushing around trying to cram everything in.  I also remember getting a pretty spectacular phone call late Christmas Eve; my wonderful Oncologist wanted to tell me personally I was cancer free.   I will always be indebted to that man for giving me more time with my babies.  Always.  

This year, the lead up to the festive season has been very difficult again, but for reasons I’m not quite ready to share just yet.  But my duty as a Mummy will always be to ensure that my babies have magical memories.  I of all people know how precious these are.

Despite the challenges surrounding Christmas, a text I got from a good friend prompted me to reflect and appreciate some of the wonderful people I have around me.  He called me ‘pigheaded’ because I have a tendency to shut down & not deal with certain shit.  Now, if anyone else would have called me that they would have been firmly told where to go ha!  But I think he is probably the one person who can get away with it & actually make me question my actions.  For that I love him, even if he is a car-nut chav 😉  And I probably don’t tell him enough how incredibly proud of him I am.

Then there is the Northern blonde bombshell who just says it like it is whether I want to hear it or not lol!  And the loveable cocky Glaswegian who drives me absolutely mad, but has a heart of gold.  The ginger swadie who I miss more than he realises.  And my wonderful ‘adoptive’ family who would do anything for my babies & have been there through thick and thin over the past 8 years.   I Love you all x

I think sometimes we get so blinkered fixating on just getting through each day that we forget to step back and appreciate those around us.  And for anyone else who finds Christmas hard, I’m sending you a hug & vodka 😉

And always remember…..

grateful

 

 

Amy Griffiths, Well Being Freedom Services Ltd ©

Still Kicking Cancer’s Butt – Yay Go Me!

Warrior

This afternoon’s ‘office’ (Friday 14th) is sat on the step of the harbour lock at Cardiff Bay, overlooking the water.  Those close to me will know the significance of this place.  I can feel him sat with me, silently…..and then eventually telling me to get off my phone lol!  We miss you xxx.

Anyway…….

What a week!  The lead up to my Oncology check ups are always very difficult.  I tend to shut myself off from people, chuck myself into exercise (when well enough), work, studying, DIY and dance like a buffoon around the kitchen to try to dull the wait.  Sometimes it works better than others. I’m glad today is over for another six months.

Anyway, yes thats me TWO years and 7 months clear of cancer now!!!  I can’t quite believe it!  Wow, a lot has happened in those two years.  That doesn’t mean I’m ‘free’ from the aftermath of cancer mind; people forget that cancer treatment is only the very first step (but that’s another blog post!).  For me I have a love/hate relationship with my cancer.

I hate my cancer because:

  1. Of the unbearable fear it caused incase I had to leave my young kids without their mummy (anyone who knows me, knows I am a complete tigress when it comes to my babies!)
  2. Of the pain my children suffered.  I will never forget the day I had to tell them.
  3. Of the time it stole from our lives.
  4. My decision to have more kids was ripped away.
  5. I’m left with permanent daily complications.
  6. Of the chance of recurrence.
  7. I had to go through major and risky surgery – and suffered a big bleed on the operating table (I thank my wonderful surgeon each day for saving me!)
  8. I’m sometimes angry about the medical neglect and delayed diagnosis.

BUT, I also LOVE my cancer too (odd ‘ey?!) because:

  1. It’s allowed me a freedom I’ve never experienced; like proper life changing freedom!  Hard to explain, but I’m finally free.
  2. I’ve learnt to love hard and proper – never mediocre & no apologies.
  3. I’ve learnt to commit hard and proper to people, work, life – never mediocre.
  4. I can now walk away from things that don’t benefit us.
  5. I’ve learnt to appreciate the simple, thoughtful things & gestures in life.
  6. I’ve mastered the art of saying ‘no’ to people.
  7. I’m stronger, more confident and happier than ever.
  8. It’s also made me more spontaneous, ambitious and adventurous than ever.
  9. I now have a zero tolerance of bullshit. No exceptions.
  10. It’s made me more honest, open and blunt like never before (and I wont apologise for it, sorry!)
  11. It’s taught me that ‘failure’ and ‘adapt’ are two very different things.  I never fail.  Ever.
  12. I will never take a ‘passive’ role in our medical care ever again.
  13. It’s taught me that you are responsible for making your own happiness in life.
  14. It made me both limit and value those people I now welcome into our lives – feel privileged if you are still part of our ‘team.’  We Love you!  For those of you no longer in our lives, it’s probably due to number 9 on this list! *scrolls back up lol!*
  15. Finally, and most importantly; I’m a better mummy to my beautiful babies. (Ok, I was already pretty amazing before, but you know!)

So you see I have FAR more reasons to LOVE my cancer, than to hate it. I know that will seem odd to many people.  Wow, it feels odd to even say it; really wasn’t where this blog was originally heading!  Yes, there are days where I struggle to see the positives it’s given me.  But today isn’t one of those.

Cancer; you may have taken loved ones, but I can guarantee you will never take me…….I’m just too damn awesome for you baby!



Amy Griffiths, Well Being Freedom Services Ltd ©